E Pluribus Ad Infinitum? Oh HELL No!

And so it begins again. With the retirement of another Supreme Court justice ('bout time since he's 126 years old), the battle for the next Old Man To Tell Women What To Do With Their Vaginas is firing up (and, let's face it, Ruth Bader Ginsburg is an old man for all practical purposes). Of course, as with all presidents, President Obama's pushing for someone who sees it his way. Fortunately, in this case, his way is already the law.

The faux-religious right is all afoam - but enough about their bad hygiene. (Faux. You heard me. If you endorse war and scream at imaginary boogiemen like healthcare, you are not really religious. You're just an asshole.) They want the Court tipped to their way of thinking, just like the Left wants it their way. If enough Lobbyist-Owned Octogenarians With Tiny Penises get on the Court, Roe v. Wade will be overturned and women will realize that a plastic hanger just doesn't cut it. But put in some more Hip Grandpas Who Are Actually Aware Of What Year It Is and the law will stand, and women will still be easier to pound than a fresh chicken breast on Tenders Day.

Doesn't this concept invalidate the Supreme Court? The assertion that the Court can overturn its own rulings down the line makes it, well, useless, unless it's proven that times have changed. In this age of Britney's cooch passing for news, no one can say we're going backward to the Dark Ages. So why would the Supreme Court even re-open Roe v. Wade, or ANY major progressive decision for that matter? Wouldn't that mean that all laws have unlimited appeals? "We're taking this to the highest court, unless they don't find in our favor. Then we're having a do-over in 10 years." That's called an appeal, you crazy guys, and the Supreme Court was supposed to be the end of that road.

In the words of Willie Nelson, "Fuck y'all". If The SC revisiting laws every few years is the rule, that should mean that all inmates get a new trial next year, this time with a new judge and a different set of jurors since the last ones were obviously pricks.

And seeing as not one SC justice knows a hovercraft from a horseless carriage, should they really matter at all? At this point they represent no one but the Hillvale Nursing Home, albeit with a new Hispanic cleaning lady. I say close 'em down. Or put Paula Abdul in there so we at least find them amusing and retarded.