...In Casselberry, Florida (ah, Florida), at the Shoot Straight Gun Range, Marie Moore shot her 20-year-old son Mitchell in the back of the head this week as he began his target practice, then killed herself while the armed fat guy in the next booth watched in shock (work on those reflexes, Cletus).
...After the fact, tapes were found in which Marie detailed how she was the Antichrist and that she had to go to Hell, but she couldn't bear to kill herself and leave Mitchell behind. Such love! She left no explanation as to why she felt it was OK to leave her other son alive to suffer the loss of his brother and the stigma of being that crazy bitch's son. I'm assuming she thought he was a real dick.
Mitchell's friends reacted lovingly by having his name tattooed in memoriam on their shoulders, using money that would have been better spent on gasoline to burn down the fucking shooting range that let Marie shoot in the first place (one story says she had been banned there once before for "acting strange", but, hey, isn't that what shooting ranges are for?).
...I'm assuming the NRA is happy now. Look on the bright side, people...two more gun-toting idiots are dead. Wonder if Pa will be getting rid of his peashooters?
...I think not. We're talking Florida, after all, which could change its nickname to "The Duh State" at any moment.
...After the fact, tapes were found in which Marie detailed how she was the Antichrist and that she had to go to Hell, but she couldn't bear to kill herself and leave Mitchell behind. Such love! She left no explanation as to why she felt it was OK to leave her other son alive to suffer the loss of his brother and the stigma of being that crazy bitch's son. I'm assuming she thought he was a real dick.
Mitchell's friends reacted lovingly by having his name tattooed in memoriam on their shoulders, using money that would have been better spent on gasoline to burn down the fucking shooting range that let Marie shoot in the first place (one story says she had been banned there once before for "acting strange", but, hey, isn't that what shooting ranges are for?).
...I'm assuming the NRA is happy now. Look on the bright side, people...two more gun-toting idiots are dead. Wonder if Pa will be getting rid of his peashooters?
...I think not. We're talking Florida, after all, which could change its nickname to "The Duh State" at any moment.
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