And Now, The News From Billy-Bob and Tammy Sue!

.....You have a 24-hour news network. You don't have 24 hours worth of news that you care to report, or budget cuts have your reporters spread thin. Whaddaya do?

.....In the case of CNN, it's let everyone in the country be reporters! It seems every time I check the news now, they're reading e-mails or taking calls from ignorant billhillies who have free time between UFO abductions to give us their special (and by special I mean "Special Education Class") spin on the issues of the day.

.....I admit it can be funny when the host realizes that the caller won't stop talking now that they've finally made it onto the TV. The host does that internal eye-rolling as they cut the caller off in the middle of the third paragraph. You know that they're dying to say, "OK, Clem, we get it! Shut the fuck up!"

.....Remember the good old days, when reporters had to know something about journalism, and impartiality, and sentence structure? Someone tell the Cable Numbnuts Network that we don't care what Gertrude in Hog's Ass, Kentucky thinks about President Obama's policies. Let's face it, we gave up on Fox long ago, but CNN used to actually be a news station. And to the newsreaders...we don't care for your opinion either. Just read the fucking teleprompter.